[:en]That day was yesterday. I was watching the Formula 1 2016 summary when that train hit me!
It happened right at the moment Nico Rosberg said that he was stopping his career because he finally reached his life’s dream. Bang! The train hit me in my face!
I started crying. Not because of Nico, no, but because of me. At that moment, I noticed that I do no more remember what my life’s dream is. If I would die now (message to the Big Boss up there, don’t get me wrong I am just making a statement) I couldn’t say that I fulfilled my life’s dream because I can’t say what it is.
I can’t say what my life’s dream is!
It has nothing to do with the quality of my life or my objectives, with the fact I have kids and will do my best to help them become good people, with the fact I did things no other man on earth did (first wingsuit skydive in Ireland, first wingsuit skydive circling the North Pole), with the fact I enjoy my work. These are, how can I say, well, objectives. Not dreams, at least from my perspective.
So here I am, on my couch, having a peaceful Sunday, and crying. Yep, 50 years old and I admit I did cry. Even though in our European “Judaeo-Christian” society big boys don’t cry, I did. Big crocodile tears.
I am writing “crocodile tears” on purpose as these were coming from deep inside myself, from the reptile in my brain. Tears come from our System 1 (a combination of our emotional brain – Limbic system – and instinctual brain). And man, was my system 1 in panic!
Rationally speaking (system 2), as written above, my life is fine. But the system 2 doesn’t bring tears. You can think that you are happy or sad, analyse your feelings, think about these, make some plans but that’s it. No tears. That’s the rational big boy.
But my system 1 went ballistic, in total panic. What are my life dreams? What was I dreaming about when I was a kid? Being an astronaut, not really, sounded cool though. Then I remembered some of the stuff that drove me deep inside. Becoming the CEO of a major company, MY own company. Nope, that wasn’t a dream, that was just about doing bigger than my dad. And I am happy to say that I have stopped for ages to try to be like my dad, with all my respect, and started being myself (not the easiest path).
Here is the problem. The part of the brain in panic doesn’t talk! And trying to let the rational system 2 taking over is the road to failure. How cool is that? I know what I shouldn’t do but had no clue about what I should do to get my dream back.
What about you? Are your dreams set?
Are you ready to die and say “Yes! I achieved my life’s dream”?
Or are you ready to cry?
On my side, I started talking about what I do enjoy, really, what drives me. What has in fact subconsciously driven my choices and made me happy for some years. Of course, I am talking about myself, hey I am a human being! Super self-centred form of life. Your way to reach your dreams is different.
I haven’t reached the definition of my life’s dream but I think I reconnected with it, it is very blurry, it can’t be like Nico’s dream: become the F1 world champion. Nope. It is fuzzier. But it sounds good. It sounds like me.
I still have, let’s be optimistic (considering how longer we live, how less chances we have to get retirement benefits, and the fact I can’t stay still) 20 to 30 years to fulfil my fuzzy dream, or what made my reptile feel better. Get ready here I come!
And you? What is your life’s dream? Please share it with me, and if you don’t have one feel free to talk to me.[:]